The Way I Loved You
by Fred2gen
Summary: Remus Lupin has everything a sixteen year old needs: a great guy, wonderful friends, the best grades, and an envied position in the school. He is content. He misses being happy.
1. Incredibly Fine

**Disclaimer: **The People, Places, and Things in this story come from the great mind of J.K. Rowling. She's just amazing enough to let us take them out of the toy box and mess with their lives. The lyrics in each of these chapters belong to Taylor Swift and her song "The Way I Loved You."

**A/N: **This is just a quick short story that I wrote in "honor of this oh most special of days." That's me being sarcastic, does it show? No, as a romance writer it's my obligation to feel something towards Valentine's Day, and this is my contribution. I hope you all had a great Feb the 14th, and enjoy this story.

_**Incredibly Fine**_

_He is sensible and so incredible  
And all my single friends are jealous.  
He says everything I need to hear  
And it's like I couldn't ask for anything better._

"And where were you?" The fiery red-head asked as a boy waltzed into the scarlet and gold decorated Common Room just after the clock finished it's twelfth strike. He looked up at her with exhausted amber eyes, and smiled sheepishly at having been caught out past curfew. He shrugged nonchalantly, as though his absence from the dormitories this late was a natural occurrence. A strand of his sandy-brown hair fell into his eyes, and with a scarred hand he moved it back into place.

"Out," he finally answers. He hadn't planned on giving her any answer, but when her green eyes pierced into him the way they were doing at the moment he found it impossible to deny her anything. She regarded him with an expression that could have easily passed for anger or annoyance, before her face split into a wide grin. He knew he should have gone with his first instinct, but he wasn't fast enough. Her pale hand wrapped around his slightly tanned wrist, and with a strength he thought she hid well, yanked him onto the couch beside her.

"Talk," she ordered as she settled down beside him. "I want every single detail. You know with that friend of yours behavior I am only allowed to live through you. Since you refuse to make him back off, it is your obligation to tell me everything." He chuckled at her speech, and the way she always managed to bring his other friend into their conversations even though she continued to deny her crush on said friend. He relented though, and turned to tell her about the night he had just enjoyed.

"We just went for a walk around the lake. It's a nice night out, and we were taking opportunity of it." He explained, and waited for her to ask questions or let him free. She did neither, only tipped her head so that she could glare at him from under her eyelids. He sighed deeply, and then tried again. "In Ancient Runes Isaiah told me to meet him after lunch near the front doors of the Entrance Hall. When I got there, he laced our fingers together, and then led me outside. We walked through the rose garden, down the side of the hill to the lake. He stopped us several times to pull me into a couple of soft kisses, and then when we got to the dock we sat down and let our feet soak in the water. Really it was just a sweet, relaxing night. We snogged for a while on the dock, and then when we realized how late it was getting, we decided to go back to our respective dorms."

"Ah, I hate you," she groaned as she flopped her head on his shoulder. "No guy dares go near me in fear that Potter is going to hex their balls off."

"Which is probably not an unfounded fear." He added, only to earn another deadly glare. He smiled at her, one that told her he wasn't taking back the truth. She continued to glare, and he continued to smile since she knew the way to make her "suffering" end. He didn't know how many times he had to assure her that dating Potter, as she liked to call his friend, would be a much better experience then she thought it would be.

"Remus Lupin," she growled his name, "get this through your very stubborn head. I am never, ever going to go out with James Potter." She made a face of great disgust at the name, but he could tell that it was all for the show she had been stuck in playing a lead role in for the past six years. "He is an arrogant jerk that thinks he has the right to go around cursing people he thinks are below him. I have said it once, and I will say it again, I would rather date the giant squid then that egotistical moron."

"Are you quite done?" He asked when she finally took a breather from her rushed speech. She paused, and moved her eyes as though she were reading what she had just said over again. Looking back at his eyes, for she had been staring just above his shoulder, she nodded. "One, remember that is my best friend, the boy that showed me that my "condition" doesn't define who I am. Two, I can be just as egotistical and arrogant as him, as I have shown you many times. I also partake in his bullying adventures when I am feeling up to it, and yet you still call me your best friend. May I please know what the difference is?"

"You know when to quit, and he doesn't." She answered quickly, as though she had rehearsed this answer before. The twitch of his lip told her what he was thinking, and she pushed him as she giggled softly. He let out a howl of a laugh at her immature actions, before engulfing her in a quick hug and kissing the top of her head. "You going to bed?" She asked, her own knowing smiled on her face now.

"Yes," he answered before letting out a deep yawn. "I am exhausted in all the right ways, and believe that has earned me a good night sleep." She nodded her agreement, and as he rose from the couch she followed his movements. With one last hug between two good friends, the pair went to the separate doors, and up to their respective dorms.

It had been a great night, with a great guy, and Remus needed to remember that he was lucky. He had great friends that loved him even though he had a "furry, little problem" that liked to make an appearance ever full moon. He had some of the best grades in the school, and because he was good at not getting caught, the teachers believed he was a good student. This belief had earned him a cherished title in the student leadership, as one of the Sixth Year Gryffindor prefects. He didn't want to be Head Boy, because of his "furry, little problem." His headmaster had offered him the position, and that was an honor unto itself. Remus Lupin had a great position in his school, great grades, great friends, and a great boyfriend. When his eyes fell on one of the other beds in his dorm though, he knew that his life wasn't as great as he would have liked it to be.

___He opens up my door and  
I get into his car and he says  
you look beautiful tonight.  
And I feel perfectly fine._


	2. Broken Roller Coaster

**Disclaimer: **Again, people, places, things belong to J.K. Rowling, lyrics are Taylor Swift.

**A/N: **I wrote this story in a night, I don't really have a lot to say here.

_**Broken Roller Coaster**_

_But I miss screamin' and fightin' and kissin' in the rain  
and its 2am and I'm cursin' your name.  
You're so in love that you act insane  
and that's the way I loved you._

It didn't matter how great his late evening may have been, when the time for sleep came to claim him the pain would be back. The great boyfriend, the great friends, the great grades, and the great position couldn't mask it when he was in the one place that was always able to remind him that his life wasn't great. His bed for a year and a half housed another body when the dreamworld wrapped him in its embrace, and strong arms kept him safe from the nightmares that tried to overtake him. For two months he had been forced to try and sleep without those arms, with out that heat, and most of all with that snore not in his ear. He wondered if it would be easier when that dog-like snore wasn't reverberating around his room anymore, and then prayed for the summer to come faster again.

Eventually the dreams would carry him away, but they would carry him to a place he wanted to be even less. The memories that he forced back all day, every day would push back when he was most vulnerable, and he would be forced to remember. He would be forced to remember the way that voice would say his name when they were moving together as though they shared the same body, the same being. He used to have dreams like this, when he was realizing that he was not just a werewolf, but that he was a gay werewolf. His dreams would always be of the same person, the same person would open his curtains and crawl beside him. Dark hair would brush against his scarred cheeks, and just a touch to red to actually be called pink lips would lock onto either his own or onto his pulse point. Hands roughed by bludgers, bats, and brooms would glide across his body, and led him into that place of absolute bliss. Then the words, the words he refused to let his new boyfriend say, the words that held all of the power in the words three fast syllables would be uttered over and over again.

Sometimes, some nights that wouldn't be what he dreamed about. Though he said those were the hard dreams, they were by far the easiest. To remember that still made him feel warm, even though he swore he could never feel that again. It was the others, the ones that showed the reason that activity, that was by no means simply, was so powerful when it was between them. The dreams where he would see gray eyes vividly glaring into him as words that couldn't be harsher were screamed back and forth. Words that had started out in jest, but somehow always cut at just the right places so that they never were able to stay that way. Words like "book-worm" always turned into "pansy" always turned into "prude" and ended in "werewolf prick." Words like "scoundrel" always turned into "delinquent" always turned into "man-whore" and ended in "pure-blood bastard." Then he'd win, because Remus would just want the words to end, so he put their mouths to better use.

It was the dreams that didn't just jump right into the action that were the hardest. It was those dreams that proved to him that no matter how much he thought he loved the other boy, they weren't meant to be. They couldn't have been meant to be when it was so very easy for the boy that said he loved Remus to betray Remus like he did. When two people truly loved each other they didn't try and use the other as a weapon to kill one they found annoying. When two people truly loved each other they didn't do things that would end up with their love in Hell on Earth. His former half, the one that whispered sweet things in his ear after a fight, things like "you are my everything" had used that same tongue to direct Remus and another on a path of great horrors. Had used the same tongue that used to draw beautiful patterns across Remus' skin to direct another to horrors that used Remus as the main attraction. Remus had always known that tongue was good at lying, he had just never thought it would lie to him.

That was what made everything about the whole ordeal so hard. It wasn't the fact that Remus had almost been sent to the dementors, or that another had nearly died. Those were both horrible things to happen, but that it was orchestrated by the one that told Remus that he was loved above all things. That the one that had broken into the shell Remus had careful constructed for himself, that the one that had figured out what he was and blown it off as though it was no big deal. That it was the one that showed Remus that he was more then just a condition that was controlled by the full moon, that was what made it so very hard on Remus. That the one that had broken through the shell and found the heart Remus had tried hard to hide, the one that had given that heart new life, new meaning. The one that made Remus understand that he had potential and a life worth living, and yet tried to take those dreams away with a simple slip of the tongue. That was what made it hurt so badly.

Remus had tucked a time of ups and downs, adventures, and feelings that he didn't know he was allowed into a heart he worried would stop working properly again. He had memories of happiness and. what he wished he could think of as, love that he could cling to. He had a past that he could look back on, and as long as he didn't think about the ending, he could smile on that past. He had a future that he had worked hard for, and people that wanted him to do great things with that future. He had more people that loved him, and more times of happiness awaiting him. He just had to let go of the past, to truly tuck it away as the past. He had to stop thinking about making it his present again, it was over. The one that he had given his heart to had moved on already, as he had tried to. Now it was just a matter of proving that he really had moved on, not to the rest of the world that already believed, but to himself.

_Breakin' down and comin' undone  
it's a roller coaster kinda rush.  
And I never knew I could feel that much.  
And that's the way I loved you._


	3. Endearingly Comfortable

**Disclaimer: **Yeah the ownership of the people, places, things, and lyrics hasn't changed. It still either belongs to J.K. Rowling or Taylor Swift.

_**Endearingly Comfortable**_

_He respects my space  
And never makes me wait  
And he calls exactly when he says he will._

When Remus walked out of his Common Room the next day, and was immediately drawn into a soft kiss he should have expected. He should have also expected the scene of his former lover and his new play thing going at it not far from where Isaiah had captured him. Every morning Isaiah would rush from the Ravenclaw dormitory to the Seventh Floor, and wait for Remus, Lily, James, and Peter to walk out from behind the portrait of the Fat Lady. Since their little ritual had started, there hadn't been one day that Remus hadn't been greeted with enthusiasm by his new boyfriend. Lily and James always laughed when Remus acted like he hadn't been expecting it, and even harder on the mornings he was still to tired that he actually wasn't expecting it. Peter, Remus believed, may not have been as alright with Remus' choice of lovers then he let on. He had always squirmed a bit when Remus and Sirius had been together, but now that Sirius was back to chasing skirts Peter was more apt to be hanging around the dark-haired boy.

"Good morning love," Isaiah said with a grin that made Lily swoon. Remus returned the grin, and Isaiah's arm tightened around him. Remus tried not to make it look too obvious as his eyes turned to look at his former lover for a moment. Sirius had drawn the girl closer to him, and was thoroughly eating her face as his eye locked with Remus. Sirius' gray eyes darkened as he captivated Remus' attention, and Remus gulped as he felt the storm between them. He didn't even realize when James and Isaiah started leading him away from the scene he had been drawn into. "So, I said to her, I said, "if you can't take the meanings get away from the dictionary." The end of Isaiah's story drew Remus back to reality, and he heard Lily's heartfelt chuckle, and James' appropriate response to the story. Remus, not wanting them to worry about him, chuckled along with his friends.

"That Rosetta, when will she learn?" Lily asked, pulling Remus more and more away from the seconds he had shared with Sirius. "If you want to write a decent paper can't just throw in big words, and think no one knows their meanings. You can throw in the big words, preferably not too many, but at least make sure they fit in the context of your paper." Remus laughed at how riled up his friend could get when words were used improperly. He was the same way, but at least he wasn't quite as forceful about the way he corrected people when they had made the mistake. The three studious students heard a large sigh come from their fourth companion, and turned to look at James.

"I'm sorry James," Isaiah apologized. James' head shot up towards his newest friend, a boy he had a hard time deciding if he liked or wanted to rip his head off of. Sirius and Remus were still in love with each other, only a complete fool couldn't see it, and he knew neither of his friends were fools, though this new boy seemed to be. "We're probably boring you with our talk of essays. Do you have any new pranks you're planning on setting off today? You know my offer still stands, you need help, and I'm your man." Though it was hard to hate a person so willing to get in trouble just for the sake of sucking up James Potter. His reasons for sucking up to James were even what James regarded as noble, anything for James' Moony. He may wish that Remus was still Padfoot's Moony, but as long as someone was showing him he was loved, James was a happy person.

"No, I just am a little surprised that you have your reports done already and I've barely started." James waved off Isaiah's concern.

"Well that's because we're good students, and you," Lily explained, pausing as she pondered the best way to describe what James was without being to callous. She didn't always need to put him down, and though she still believed he was an arrogant jerk she had to admit that he had calmed down a lot over the past few months. She had a hard time deciding if Remus and Sirius' break-up was the best thing that ever happened to her friend or the worst. She knew that they had a really interesting relationship, and one of the ones that wasn't really regarded as healthy. She also knew that they loved each other very much, and her personal bias towards Black and Potter hadn't changed that. Then Isaiah had stepped in, and she, Remus, Isaiah, and Potter had started forming their own group. A group that she rather enjoyed hanging out with.

"He's lazy, and since he's talented he thinks he can get away with it." Remus finished for her.

"Ha," James gave a sarcastic laugh. "You love me and you know it." He reminded his friend.

"Prove it," Remus challenged James as he stuck his tongue out in a childish manner. Lily and Isaiah laughed at the antics of the two boys.

"Oh, I don't think you want me to remind you of my proof with Ike's arm swung around you like that." James joked with a little wink. Remus tipped his head back as he howled with laughter at what had been insinuated.

"I love you, but you aren't nearly as good looking as you think." Remus stated with a smirk of his own. James' mouth dropped, and he covered his heart dramatically as though Remus had wounded him with only the words. The walks that the four shared, the meals they ate together, the classes that they spent together, and the free time that they hung out with each other was nice. They were no where near as close as James and Remus were when they had been together as the Marauders. They had secrets from each other, but Remus wondered if that was a bad thing. He didn't feel as though he relied on Lily or Isaiah as much as he had relied on the Marauders. With the Marauders they had been four intracel parts to a whole, they had needed each other. He didn't need Isaiah and Lily to feel complete.

_He's close to my mother  
Talks business with my father.  
He's charming and endearing  
And I'm comfortable._


	4. Screamin' Kissin' Insance

**Disclaimer: **Lyrics belong to Taylor Swift, everything else is J.K. Rowling's. Like how I switched that up?

_**Screamin' Kissin' Insane**_

_But I miss screamin' and fightin' and kissin' in the rain  
And it's 2am and I'm cursin' your name.  
You're so in love that you act insane  
And that's the way I loved you._

"You don't ever change do you?" A voice said in Remus' ear. It was study period for the Sixth Year Gryffindors, but the Ravenclaws were in Care of Magical Creatures. Remus had taken the time to do what the period was actually meant for, and had gone to the library. He jumped when the smooth voice interrupted his quiet, and closed his eyes as though that could combat the laugh that filled his ears after. Arms he had memorized the feel of locked him between them as the palms pressed on either side of his book. "Where's the boyfriend?" The voice spat the last word with disgust, but that didn't take away from the chill the breathe caused to run down his back as it drifted over his neck.

"Class," Remus answered with a weak voice he cursed. He felt a hum of acknowledgment vibrate off of the spot on his neck the lips pressed to his skin knew would make him falter more then he already was. He drew in a quick breathe as the mouth opened, and teeth started to nibble at him. "Sirius," he warned in a voice that barely held any more strength then it had a moment before, and he had to force his eyes not to flutter shut. "You shouldn't..."

"He should know better then to leave you alone." Sirius cut off the argument. "He should know by now that your like meth, one hit and your hooked for life. Could fight it, oh you could try and fight it. Some people are strong enough they might just beat it, but I'm not those people. I want you Remus." Sirius' mouth was so close that the warm breathe caused more shudders to rake Remus' body as he listened to his former lover. His mouth was so close that Remus also felt Sirius' lips brushing against him with every movement. "You want me too. I saw you, when I was kissing Jolene, I saw you. You're not done, this isn't done. We're good together, we're powerful together. Padfoot and Moony, you know we're mates. You can date whoever you want, you can shag whoever you want, you could even marry someone that isn't me. Moony will never take them, you know it. They'll never be your mate. I have that title, and I'm not about to give it up."

"You tried to send me to Azkaban." Remus reminded the boy that had moved back to nibbling on his neck.

"I know, and I've told you I'm sorry." Sirius repeated his own, old, worn-out response against Remus' pulse point. "Now can we stop playing this stupid game?" He groaned. Remus' head snapped up and almost whacked him in the nose. Sirius stepped back quickly as Remus' wolf strength allowed him push the chair back, and escape the confides Sirius had tried to lock him into.

"It's not a game." He shouted before receiving threatening looks from the others studying not far from that part of the library. For the millionth time Sirius and Remus shared the though that they loved the semi-secludedness of Remus' little nook in the library. "Dammit Sirius, it's my life that you tried to fuck over." He reminded him, his voice threatening to break with the tears he should have let fall months before. "I thought you loved me, but you couldn't have."

"Don't you dare," Sirius warned as he stepped into the hurt werewolf's personal space. Remus looked up at him with tear filled eyes. "Don't you dare say I don't love you." Sirius continued, his insistence faltering as he had to fight back the urge to reach out and stop the tears from ever falling. "You're my everything, do you get that?" He continued walking towards his Moony, forcing the werewolf to back up until his back was pressed against a bookshelf. "My fucking everything." Now Sirius did reach out, and cupped his hand around Remus' cheek.

"Yeah, I really believe you Sirius." Remus said sarcasticly, pushing the other boy's hand away from his face. "I'm your everything, and you were just going to throw me away like yesterday's newspaper."

"Stop it," Sirius warned, "stop trying to make yourself think we're less than what we are." Remus had tried to turn away from him, but Sirius wasn't having that. He stepped back in front of his wolf, and without even touching Remus forced him back to the bookcase. "You know we belong together." He cupped Remus' face again, this time with both hands so that he was in better control of the direction the amber eyes looked. "Do you get that?" He asked in a low voice that rumbled through Remus' very being. "You and me, it's you and me forever. Moony and Padfoot, forever."

"I'm with Isaiah now." Remus tried one last attempt to get his old lover to leave him alone. He didn't actually think it would work. He knew that when Sirius wanted something hell and high water couldn't keep it from him.

"I don't give a damn about Chase." Sirius growled, and Remus knew he was correct in his assumption. The fact that Sirius had been seen snogging three different girls during that day, and that Remus was in a relationship meant nothing to Sirius. Sirius wanted Remus, and Remus had a hard time not giving him everything he wanted. "I mean God, have you even told him?" Sirius tried the last option he had in showing Remus that Sirius was his mate, was the one he was supposed to be with.

"No," Remus whispered as he tried to look away. This was why no one could ever fall in love with Remus, no one but Sirius. No one but the heir of Black would ever accept him for what he was.

"See, it's gotta be me." Sirius said as he moved so that he was looking into Remus' eyes. 'I love you, all of you, and I'm so sorry." He tried to not let his voice break as he uttered his repentance again. He moved then, as quickly as he could since he expected to be pushed away with the force of the werewolf's strength. He pressed his lips against Remus, and was surprised when he was instead pulled closer, and his tongue was led into a dance with its favorite partner.

_Breakin' down and comin' undone  
It's a roller coaster kinda rush.  
And I never knew I could feel that much.  
And that's the way I loved you._


	5. Intoxicating Mistake

**Disclaimer: **It's magic, twelve seconds and suddenly it's all mine, mine mine. Yeah right, I wish I was as creative as either of the two women that own all the little bits that put this story together. J.K Rowling and Taylor Swift are the geniuses, I am just the director.

_**Intoxicating Mistake**_

_He can't see the smile I'm fakin'.  
And my hearts not breakin'  
Cause I'm not feelin' anything at all._

"Sirius," Remus sighed as he finally broke away from the embrace. Hands had easily found their way below shirts, almost of their own accord, as though they knew where they belonged. Sirius tried to trace kisses away from Remus' mouth, across his jaw, bu Remus had stopped him knowing where and what those kisses would lead to. Isaiah had never marked him, and if Remus was to have a mark then Isaiah would know something was wrong. Remus couldn't do that to the new boy.

"What," Sirius snapped a little too forcefully. Remus looked at him with a puppy-dog expression that could rival Sirius' own. "Sorry Baby," he apologized before kissing his lover's nose. Remus' eyes slipped close at the sweetness of the gesture, and Sirius took the moment of distraction to bring them back together.

"No, no, no," Remus said as he backed away again, Sirius groaned. "He's out of class, I have to go." He said as he started moving out of Sirius' embrace. Sirius' eyes darkened, and his arms tightened around his wolf. Remus was trying to break away from him so that he could go be with that Ravenclaw. Sirius wasn't about to let that happen, Remus was his, had always been his, would always be his. No one else, no other Gryffindor, no Ravenclaw, no Hufflepuff, and for sure no Slytherin should even look at the werewolf in the same way Sirius did, let alone touch him.

"No," Sirius growled before drawing his wolf into a hungry kiss again, a kiss that's main purpose was to remind Remus where he belonged. Remus was torn between what he knew was right, moving away from the boy that had hurt him and running to the boy that was trying to love him. Or, staying where he knew he belonged, in Sirius' embrace. "End it," Sirius ordered when he stopped trying to kiss the nearly unresponsive Remus. "Go to him, tell him it's done. Then come back to me, because I'm sleeping in my bed tonight."

"You've slept in your bed for the last two months." Remus reminded him, with a confused expression on his face.

"No, I've slept in a bed the last two months." Sirius corrected him, a soft hand against Remus' cheek conveying what he was yet to say. "My bed is the one I share with you, I'm sleeping in our bed tonight love. I'm making love to you tonight, so you better go tell him whatever you had with him is over." Sirius ended his softly spoken, but still powerful order with a barely there kiss against Remus' lips. While Remus was in that state of dazed and blissful shock, Sirius took his leave of the alcove and the library. Remus shook himself when his werewolf hearing heard the door click shut, and rushed off to decide if he was going to follow Sirius' directions or not.

"Isaiah," Remus sighed when he found his boyfriend sitting in the Great Hall with a group of Ravenclaw friends. He had thought all the way from the library to the Great Hall what he was going to do, and still hadn't come up with an answer. "Can we talk?" He had tried to school his features so that he didn't look as confused as he felt, but when Isaiah looked up at him he had a feeling he had failed.

"Course love," Isaiah said before excusing himself from his friends. He took Remus' hand as they walked out of the Great Hall, and as he was watching Remus' expression in concern, he missed the look that one of his' loves fellow Gryffindors sent his way. Remus didn't miss Sirius' smug glare as the dark-haired boy watched his wolf lead the Ravenclaw out so that they could have a bit of privacy as Remus did what he had been told to do. Remus was tempted to tell Sirius to sod off, and to not follow the orders. Then he remembered the way Sirius' lips had always molded against his better then Isaiah's did, that Sirius' hands could light little fires against his skin that Isaiah had never done. He didn't have a choice, he was Sirius' body, soul, mind and heart. "What is it love?"

Remus sighed before he made his final decision, he thought it like it was actually his choice to make. He had led them to an empty classroom just off of the Entrance Hall, and then turned saddened amber eyes on the boy that held his hand. "While you were in class," he started off, and Isaiah looked even more concerned when he heard the heartbreak in the amber-eyed boy's voice. "When you were in class Sirius came to talk to me in the library. I'm still in love with him." He looked at his shoes as he explained what had happened in as few words as he could.

"I know," Isaiah sighed as he cupped Remus' cheek with his soft hand. Isaiah didn't like quidditch, which was just one of the many things about him that made him not the guy fro Remus. They didn't have years of memories that they shared as they created the bond that they believed was unbreakable. They had very few things in common with one another, and their bodies didn't mold together as though they were meant to never be apart. "You don't get over what you had with him in two months."

"You don't get over what I have with him ever." Remus corrected. "He wants me back, and I can't tell him no."

"He hurt you," Isaiah cut off more explanation the boy might have had.

"I know, but this hurts too." Remus pointed out. "It hurts more to be away from him for so long, to keep up this act I'm putting on for you and the rest of the school. I'm so sorry, I should have never agreed to go with you to that Hogsmeade trip. I can never love anyone but him, I'm so sorry."

_And you were wild and crazy.  
Just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated,  
got away like some mistake._


	6. Comin' Undone

**Disclaimer: **People, places, things, objects, creatures, characters, and everything else is J.K . Rowlings. Lyrics are from Taylor Swift's song "The Way I Loved You."

**A/N: **I think I said that there was only five parts, I was wrong. There is six parts to this story, and here is the final instalment. If you are familiar with my other stories you probably know what this one is all about, not to mention that little M in the bar up there has to be for a reason. Full on Boy on Boy in this chapter, if you don't like then why are you still here? I hope you all have enjoyed my little Valentine.

_**Comin' Undone**_

_And now I,  
I miss screamin', and fightin', and kissin' in the rain  
it's 2am and I'm cursin' your name  
I'm so in love that I acted insane.  
And that's the way I loved you._

"You think it's that easy?" James asked as he walked in on Remus moments after Sirius had drawn him into yet another hungry kiss. "Two months you've been with that boy, and you turn around and jump back into this shit-head's arms."

"Geez Prongs," Sirius scoffed at the new nickname he had earned. "Missed you too." He stepped away from his new found lover, and started pushing his best friend, his brother out the door. He didn't care that they hadn't spoken in two months, they would always keep the bond they had created. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to shag my mate. Out you go." He explained as he continued to push the quidditch captain out the door. James moved as though he was going to turn around, and start arguing about the new situation again. Sirius kept a tight grip on him so that he could not interrupt Remus and him any longer then he already had. Peter appeared in the doorway, but two dark looks from Sirius and James had him scampering back down the stairs. Sirius finished pushing James out the door, and slammed it in the boys face before he could turn around. With a powerful locking spell put on the door, he turned back to his lover. "Now, where were we?"

"Right about here," Remus answered as he drew Sirius back to him, and started leading the animagus to the bed they used to share. Sirius turned them when his legs hit the bed so that he could lay Remus out below him. Remus whimpered at the change in his plans, and Sirius laughed into their kiss. Everything was slow, so that they could savor each moment of their reconnection. Buttons were undone, instead of ripped like they had done on too many occasions to count. Kisses were pressed against each bit of skin they could reach, tongues traced patterns between freckles and scars. Hands glided across skin as though trying to relearn each dip and rise in the other body. Sounds of whimpers and sighs and, Sirius' favorite, begs were drawn out as they played each other like a musical instrument they had perfected years ago.

When Sirius had Remus bare before him he trailed kisses down his wolf's body until he reached the spots that made Remus beg the most. The chants of "please, please, God Sirius, please," filled his ears, and he kept up his teasing as he waited for Remus to tell him what he needed. "Suck me, Sirius, suck my cock," was the order he finally received, and with the skill of a Chinese Water Torturer Sirius traced the sides and vein of his lover. More begs were whimpered, and eventually a more fierceful order was commanded, and Sirius took his lover into his mouth slowly. He kept of his skillfulness of taking his time with drawing Remus to that place the werewolf so very badly wanted to go. For a moment Remus tried to take control, but Sirius backed off when he couldn't get it back. Remus relented to the wonderfully pleasant torture that his lover saw fit to put him through. With a shout though Remus came, and Sirius greedily swallowed everything the werewolf gave him.

"Did you ever let him do that?" Sirius asked after the kiss Remus had given him as the werewolf hunted down every bit of where their tastes mingled together had relaxed into soft kisses. Remus shook his head against Sirius' shoulder, and Sirius' kissed his temple in a silent thanks. Sirius was a fierce and ferocious bad-ass most of the time, but there was a side of him that he only had ever let Remus and James see. A side that had vulnerabilities, fears, and heartbreak. Remus knew that he was only and completely Sirius', and nothing had ever changed that. Only one had ever touched him in ways that made him beg for more, and that was the boy of whose arms he was relaxing in. With one last sigh, Remus started heading to return the favor.

Sirius stopped him though. "No," he answered Remus' unspoken question, "I want you to do something for me." Sirius brushed his hand down Remus' arm until he reached the werewolf's wrist, and controlled his arm enough to direct his hand to his entrance. With the wand they had kept on the headboard, Sirius cast a spell on Remus' hand that made his fingers slick. "Have you only wanked to get off these last few months?" Sirius asked when Remus' confused expression had only increased. With a smirk, Remus shook his head in answer. "Show me what you've done, show me what you've pretended I've done. It has been me right? It's been my name on your lips right?" With a shudder Remus nodded his agreement to the assumptions, before he started to prepare himself for his lover.

"God you're beautiful," Sirius told the boy that was straddling him as he not only got himself to slid onto Sirius, but also kept dropping Sirius' name like a benediction as pleasure rippled through his body. "Are you ready love," he asked as he drew his hand down Remus' back until his hand met with Remus', and when Remus pulled out he pressed into test how well his lover had down for them. Feeling that Remus was ready, he guided his wolf's hips to the tip of him, and while he lifted his hips Remus dropped his, bringing them together. A collective breathe passed between them as they felt the connection, the filling that was their bodies joining together as one. Just as slowly as everything else, they moved together as they worked towards finding that place of utter bliss in each others arms. As they fell over that edge, Sirius repeated his repentance for the actions that had caused them to be separated for much to long. Remus waited until the chant of "I'm sorry" had fallen off of Sirius' repetition of "I love you," before he seconded the promise.

Remus Lupin had the greatest guy, the best of friends, the perfect grades, a coveted position of leadership. Remus Lupin was loved, and he loved, and everything was as it should be. For that was what Remus Lupin, the boy that's life had been changed drastically at too young an age deserved, happiness.

_Breakin' down and comin' undone  
it's a roller coaster kinda rush.  
And I never knew I could feel that much.  
And that's the way I loved you._

And that's the way I loved you.  
Never knew I could feel that much.  
And that's the way I loved you.  


**A/N: **I am to write it as you are to read it. I am to post it as you are to? If you said review you are correct. Please tell me what you thought of my little story hear, and then yell at me and tell me to get back to working on Lost. I don't listen to myself, but maybe I'll listen to you.


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